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Musings : 10 July 2021

‘Niki Jenkins is a bitch’

was written in bold, black marker on the bathroom stall door when I looked up.

Not even a capital B.

Honestly, if you’re going to insult someone make sure you mean it, and maybe with a bit more originality?

I had excused myself from class, probably Grade 8 Math, where I tried everything to get out of the headache of numbers and the drone of Mr M, to go the bathroom.

And there it was in black and….well….orange was the colour of the metal stall walls that surrounded me.

I just stared at it. Mixed feelings really, as I cocked my head to the side.

Perplexed as to why someone would single me out, if not slightly flattered that I had made an impression of any kind at Lockport Junior High. I guess I should feel relieved it wasn’t precluded by the usual, ‘For a good time, call…’

I’ve always been different. Not to look at me, other than being of larger status (taller and rounder) than my class mates. And I didn’t subscribe to any particular group such as the mods, jocks, geeks, punks, or popular. That’s why I found this little message perplexing.

I just stayed out of everyone’s way and did my own thing.

Thinking about it now, that was probably what did it.

I had a great group of friends and that was the beauty of my friendship group, we were all eclectic in our own way: I was sporty, got good grades, was in music and wood shop, for the most part - all rounder, I would say. So why single me out?

Thinking back I’m struggling to remember if I was hurt by this. If there was a significant change in my mindset and demeanour because of it, and I can’t. All I can remember thinking is, ‘well, I rattled someone’s cage.’

And that’s what has stayed with me. That’s always been my goal, not to BE different but to DO different things that would set me apart from the pack. To make my mark and leave a lasting impression, and hopefully a good one. I want to enter a room smiling and leave it with everyone smiling behind me, making their day brighter.

Be me a Bitch or a Witch, a mother & a step mother, a judo player or just someone who dares to play, I’ll do my best at it, I will endeavour to do it differently than anyone else in hopes of making my mark. #bitchplease

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